I posted this in the 4Runner forum, but I want highlander owners opinions as well.

I like the look of the 4Runner and the Highlander, but I'd like to know which one I should buy. Here are my thoughts:

According to consumerreports.org, both vehicles are well worth the money, so there is no question about quality.

I will be living in upstate NY, and I dont want to have to shovel my vehicle out of my driveway (or out of a ditch).

I need a vehicle that can cut through a couple feet of snow if need be

I need a vehicle that stay on the road in icey situations

I need a vehicle that can off road (the medium-sized rock, dirt, uneven ground kind, not the mud-slinging kind) AND tow something like a small boat or trailer, or even a small pop-up camper.

I have a 5 month old baby, so I need some that is solid, and safe.

My guess is that a 4Runner is the best choice, given the off roading/towing stuff I will need it for. But how does the highlander do? I don't understand the difference between 4x4 and AWD...

any info will help. Thanks!

I would say for your situation go with the 4Runner. The highlander is good for a couple of feet of snow and icey roads not really for offroading. Well atleast that's the reviews that i read

Agree, the 4Runner seems to be the best choice for your situation.

I have an 01 highlander awd and love it. In the snow and ice it works great. If you are going off road go with 4runner for clearance and the ruts. I have not and would not 4 wheel in my highlander......

athomedad is your highlander 4WD?

It is the 4 cyl 4wd and we have loaded it up top and inside for camping and was never too slow for freeway.

I've got a 2004 Highlander V-6 AWD and I live in northwestern Hew Hampshire. My car (it's definitely not a truck) has done very well in the snow and ice each winter and it has done well during mud season as well. It's not a rough-and-ready 4x4: the 4-Runner is built more for that kind of work than the Highlander is, but the Highlander can handle practically any situation you'll come up against in "regular" driving; Just make SURE that you've got the right kind of tires on it!!! Mine came new with a set of Toyo "all season" tires which slid all over the road the first time it snowed and wouldn't work at all when it iced up. They also lasted only 19,000 miles. I put a set of Cooper Discoverer ATRs on it (without studs); they've been super-duper. Excellent control in the snow and very good on icy surfaces as long as you are conservative in your driving habits. The tires now have 28,000 miles on them and are behaving just fine. My wife and I just got back from a drive to California: we drove through light icey conditions in MO and OK, snow in AZ, UT, CO, WI, Ontario, upstate NY (Cornwall to the Lake Champlain ferry), VT and NH. No problems to report. At 70-80 mph in cold weather we got 21-22 mpg on the interstates (even climbing to 11,188 feet at the Eisenhower Tunnel with 85 octane gas!). During warm weather, we averaged 24 mpg driving to Florida two years ago at 55-65 mph on average, taking back roads more than interstates. Around town, to work (4 miles), etc we've averaged 16-18 mpg summers and 13-15 mpg during the winter when they blend moonshine ethanol in with the real stuff.
One of my buddies has the same vintage 4-Runner and he laments that the Highlander V-6 has more horsepower than his V-8, but I think the V-8 out-torques the V-6, which is really better for towing a heavy load, but, like I said, the 4-Runner is a truck; the Highlander is a car. I don't recall whether his fuel economy is better or worse than mine; but if economy is crucial and with the advent of the Hybrid Highlander, you've got another choice you can make, which was not available to me. I doubt if the towing capacity will be the same because of the weight of the batteries, but the engine is supposedly even more potent that the regular V-6. Lastly, the 4-Runner is bigger, so you've got more room to mess with inside. I do feel crammed in the Highlander, but I moved into it from an F-150 supercab 4X4 which was "too big" for my wife.
So there you have it: don't be afraid of the Highlander. I guess my only real criticism is that the heater doesn't blow on the driver's feet and it's really not adequate when the temp falls below zero. At -20 you've got to let it warm up well, especially if you want to steer. I put oil pan heaters under the sump and the trans pans and I plug it in at night (we don't have a garage) when it's going to be in the single digits (above zero) or colder. Makes a world of difference, too. I think that will hold true with either vehicle, though.
Happy hunting.

Like others, I was thinking Highlander (possibly with winter tires) until I got to the bit about offroading.

The Highlander is essentially a car. The 4Runner is a truck.