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ECU is Engine Control Unit, aka ECM (Module). The computer that runs the engine. If you find one you can replace it yourself, it's a plug-in.
Have you tried a scrap yard, they have a computer network to locate one if they don't have one. You can also locate used parts online yourself. Try GOOGLE to find those sites.
I'd find another dealer, they sound incompetent (like most of them, unfortunately).
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