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The towing capacity is generally specified with two different weight limits that reflect the POWER of the vehicle and the BRAKING ability of the vehicle. The towing package itself is only really required if you are going to be towing a lot, if you are going to be towing on a lot of hills, or in some other situation where you think extra cooling may be required for both the engine and transmission.
You should also disable the over-drive on your vehicle when in town or changing speeds a lot under around 80km/hr (sorry... Canadian eh.) as this will generally reduce transmission overheating due to slippage (this is the reason most automatic transmissions have a button to disable over-drive).
I own a 2001 Sienna, but am experienced at towing with many vehicles and suspect if you looking at the fine print in the manual you will find the 2000lb tow rating if for a trailer that does NOT have it's own brakes. The 3500lb rating will be for a trailer that has it's own independent braking system and is therefore related to the maximum power/frame handling of the tow vehicle.
Braking systems for trailers can be electric (tied to the electrical system of the tow vehicle and activated with the decelleration and brake pedal action of the tow vehicle). Alternatively some trailers have a hydraulic system built into the tonge of the trailer so when the trailer pushes on the car it actually forces the trailer brakes to turn on.
Please pay close attention to the total gross vehicle weight. It is easy to load up the van with passengers and luggage, this reduces the total safe capacity of the van to tow. You don't want to get in a situation where the total combined weight of the van, plus passengers, plus luggage, plus trailer ends up exceeding the total capacity of the vehicle.
Hope this helps.
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